Tea App vs. Date Everything: When Dating Feels Like a Performance Review
So, you’ve been ghosted again, huh? Or maybe you just had a perfectly normal date, but can’t shake the feeling he gave off a "collects swords unironically" kind of vibe. Welcome to dating in 2025, where your romantic résumé might be getting anonymous reviews on the internet—and no, we’re not talking Yelp for your local barista crush. We're talking about the Tea App.
Tea App, in case you've been blissfully offline (lucky you), is this spicy new app that lets women anonymously review men they’ve dated. Think of it as Glassdoor meets "he ghosted me after three dates." It's like a whisper network... only it's an app. And public. And searchable. And probably has at least one guy named Chad crying in a group chat right now.
Meanwhile, over on Date Everything!, we’re trying to help you figure out if you should date a sock, a rock, or your own sense of self-worth (spoiler: she deserves better). In the chaos of real dating, our fictional sandbox starts to feel refreshingly honest. There are no red flags when you’re dating a haunted violin—at least you know it’ll scream at you from the start.
But back to Tea. Reddit, as always, had thoughts. Oh boy, did it have thoughts. The top-voted take? “An app where someone’s personal info and pictures can be posted without their consent along with a biased selection of unverified, negative commentary... sounds terrible.” Ouch. But not wrong.
Others went deep, like “Remember don’tdatehimgirl.com? This is that, but on steroids and with push notifications.” One user summed it up with grim poetry: “People suck, so we can’t have nice things.” Truer words were never typed on a keyboard covered in Dorito dust.
The Good Tea 🍵
Let’s be fair—Tea App does come from a real need. Dating is a wild ride, especially for women. If this app helps someone dodge a lovebombing man-child who thinks "Boundaries" is a Netflix show, that’s a win, right?
There’s something empowering about women warning each other. As one Redditor said, “I’ve always been the friend who poured the tea.” And to that, we say, thank you for your service. Seriously.
The Bad Tea ☠️
But here’s the bitter aftertaste: it’s also a magnet for chaos. The app is anonymous, unmoderated (mostly), and full of unverifiable stories. That means a scorned ex can label you as a “manipulative narcissist who claps when the plane lands” and—voilà!—your dating life’s now radioactive.
It’s not just bad actors either. One Redditor nailed it: “Every ex-boyfriend becomes the worst human being... every forgotten detail turns into malignant narcissism.” The algorithm loves drama. So do people. The truth? Not so much.
Oh, and we haven’t even gotten into the racism, ableism, and biphobia hiding in the corners. Yeah... yikes.
And Then There’s Date Everything...
Over here at Date Everything, we like to keep things... simpler. You won’t get ghosted by the Moon. A Victorian painting won’t ask to split the bill and then Venmo you for $6.43. When you're dating metaphors, at least they're consistent.
Date Everything is absurd, silly, and weirdly heartfelt. But maybe that’s what we need right now. An escape hatch from the hot mess of “real” dating. A space where nobody’s tracking your romantic history in a spreadsheet.
TL;DR
- Tea App: good idea in theory, spicy in execution, and potentially a lawsuit waiting to happen.
- Reddit: surprisingly thoughtful, with a side of snark.
- Date Everything: the only place where dating a cursed toaster feels emotionally safe.
So, if you’re feeling burned by the Tea, come chill with us at Date Everything. No judgment, no reviews—just vibes. And maybe, just maybe, a ghost bride waiting to be loved.
💬 What do you think? Would you ever use Tea? Would you rather date a sentient crystal with abandonment issues? Let us know... or don’t. We’re not your mom.
Written by a real human who’s been on one too many bad dates and once considered marrying a houseplant.